P.S. I can't hear my feet
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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