Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
