You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
