First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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