instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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