I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize