Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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