He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
