I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
