her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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