is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
