If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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