everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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