talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Tornado booty call.. dedication
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
