I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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