we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize