any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
