So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
