You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize