I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
