We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
