I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
