But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
