can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
