david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
