I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
