ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
