so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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