I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize