I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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