No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
