How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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