First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
