At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
