Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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