Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
