he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
