...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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