trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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