would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
even my farts smell like vagina
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
