He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
