I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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