He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
