I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
