Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
