Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
