You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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