if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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