Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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