No awkward lesbian experiences without me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
