dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
