she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
