my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
