Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize