He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
