I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
