He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
