You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
