dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
