Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
